well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
