A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
