the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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