i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Randomize
