I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
