This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
whose parrot is this?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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