White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
