I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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