It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
