you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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