Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
