Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
