So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
