we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You made out with two different species that night
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
