fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
