im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
