Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
