i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
