left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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