we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize