u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
