CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
