she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
