you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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