Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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