So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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