Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
