so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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