Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize