hotel room ftw
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
