We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
