We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
