k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He did a backflip because drugs
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
