I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
