Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
