Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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