My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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