Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
