You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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