I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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