the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize