He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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