is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
