Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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