let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
whose parrot is this?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
