I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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