Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
