Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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