Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
