my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sorry my hands just texted you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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