ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
