gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
