I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
