Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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