I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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