so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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