Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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