I wish you could order shots online.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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