$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
