evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
