Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
