she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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