Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
