Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I stole a fireplace last night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
