we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
